Tag Archives: Mattress

10 Things to NEVER Follow on the Freeway

I don't like the looks of this!

  1. Trailer of Cars Stacked Two High: Am I the only one who thinks these should never have been invented?
  2. Gravel Truck: Don’t put your faith in that big rubber flap hanging on the back of the truck.  Believe me.
  3. Any Truck with Ladder on Top: If the ladder comes off, all hell is going to break loose.  Better to see that in your rear view mirror.
  4. Fuel Tanker Truck: Want to leave earth in a ball of flames?  Me neither.
  5. Any Pickup with Tailgate Down: It’s only a matter of time before the contents come out.  Is today your lucky day?
  6. Guy Who Could Not Afford a U-Haul: We’ve all seen the budget movers with the flatbed trailers stacked high.  But they saved $50!
  7. Any Vehicle with Mattress Tied on Top: Hitting a mattress, even a pillow-top one, at 60 MPH is bound to end badly.  They can ignite under cars.
  8. Truck Carrying Bees or Livestock: Are they more prone to accidents, or do they just make the news more often?
  9. Guy with Dragging Muffler: Sparks are cool at night, but chances are good that he is uninsured for damage from his lost muffler.
  10. Semi from Batesville Casket Company: Bad omen.
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One Warranty You Will NEVER Need!

baby's new mattress

Image by Liz (perspicacious.org) via Flickr

I was changing the sheets on one of our kids’ crib mattresses a couple of weeks ago, when I happened to catch a glimpse of that large, permanent sticker that goes on every mattress.  You know, it is the one that tells you the brand name, model, and usually something about the features of the mattress.  Granted, I had purchased this crib mattress a couple of years ago, but I never really spent much time looking at the sticker.  What I saw was completely ridiculous.  Being a marketing guy myself, I could only wonder WHAT Sealy must have been thinking.  Before I spoil the surprise, consider for yourself what a reasonable warranty length would be for a crib mattress–2 years, 3 years, 5 years max?  That’s what I figured, but this one comes with a 35 YEAR WARRANTY!  Being a skeptic, I immediately thought about what sorts of conditions apply to such a warranty.  Can you see a consumer raising cane 34 years after buying a crib mattress because it failed.  First of all, WHY ON EARTH are you still using the mattress?  Second of all, your kid has been out of college for 10 years.  Everything wears out, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!