Every so often, we all see one of those cars with a missing hubcap or two (or, in flagrant cases, all four). This the car equivalent of walking around with your fly down, a booger hanging out of your nose, or your butt crack showing. It’s not a pleasant sight, and we better people either look away or start thinking things about the transgressor’s family that are generally stereotypes, but nonetheless make us feel superior for having all four of OUR hubcaps. Then there are those of us who don’t even need hubcaps. We have shiny, oh-so-fancy, alloy wheels. It’s hard to be humble with alloy wheels, but most of us can remember the days when we owned cars with hubcaps and ate ramen noodles. We know it is difficult to find one replacement hubcap to match the rest, and replacing all four can be costly, especially when a person is unemployed, divorced, still living with his parents, or spending his government checks on lottery tickets, cigarettes, and pork rinds. Finding a job is not easy when a person cannot shave, comb his hair, or brush his teeth. And who would hire an ugly guy with three hubcaps anyway?