Another week gone by. The news of the week? Blah, blah, blah, and turtles tweeting from a runway at JFK International Airport in New York. Yes, turtles. Yes, tweeting. On Wednesday, the media frenzy ignited to tell us that Runway 4L at JFK had been shut down for an hour to move some 100 turtles who were making the annual pilgrimage to the sandy spot on the other side of the runway where they lay eggs (http://n.pr/kh86XG). Soon, the turtles had opened a Twitter account (@JFKTurtles). In 2 days, they amassed 8,140 followers while sending out just 210 tweets. Out of sheer amazement, I read many of those tweets, and I was most inspired by the following retweet:
@FollowSven: @JFKTurtles You’re probably the most boring Twitter account I’ve ever seen. #SaySomethingWitty
Agreed. And so, here are…
5 Things JFK Turtles Could Have Said But Did Not
- Consult your flight training manual. Mother Nature always has the right of way.
- Where the hell are you all going, and what’s the rush?
- Move us? Move the runway! We have been here forever.
- Normally, we drink water, but for some reason, we would like a tomato juice now.
- You touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested.