Revenge of the $1.99 Underwear

An actor plays Juan Valdez at the National Cof...

Does Juan Valdez moonlight at the underwear factory?

Just last Friday, I blogged about the wonders of Wal-Mart (, including 5 pairs of underwear for $9.96–$1.99 per pair.  At the time, I expressed my gratitude to the Colombian sweatshop worker responsible for this little miracle of capitalism.  There was much joy and fulfillment in life, despite the craziness that I had witnessed at Wal-Mart.  Well, a lot has changed since then.  First some background.  Stubbornness being one of my strengths, I have often scoffed at my wife’s motherly advice to always wash new clothes before wearing them for the first time.  After all, nothing ever looks as nice after that first wash.  Further, I reasoned, could there POSSIBLY be garment workers, like those sinister cooks who spit in food, tampering with clothing just to stick it to the condescending Americans?  Preposterous!  And so, just last Friday, I deposited 10 fresh pairs of underwear into my drawer, fresh out of the package.  By Sunday morning, I was certain that something had gone REALLY WRONG in my pants, and I switched back to my old underwear.  I am now certain that I reacted to some kind of noxious chemical in those grundies.  Some low-paid Colombian just got the last laugh on me.

One response to “Revenge of the $1.99 Underwear

  1. Maybe you have bedbugs…..


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