Only Logical Solution for Perfect Bronze Tan


Image from Now they just need to offer bronze!

Yesterday, I received another useless daily deal offer from–a Groupon knockoff website.  This one I found rather thought provoking–a $40 airbrush tan for just $10.  I once saw a TV commercial where a fat guy was getting an airbrush tan applied, and I thought it was a joke.  NOPE!  This idea was humorous on so many levels that I hardly knew where to start.  So, I began to consider the evolution of tanning:

  • Sun: Old fashioned, hot, sweaty, time consuming, unhealthy.
  • Tanning Salon: More expensive than the sun, and just as damaging.  Seedy, massage-parlor feel.
  • Sunless Tanning Lotion: Expensive, greasy, unsightly orange hue.
  • Airbrush Tan: Very expensive ($40 for a tan?!?), laughable, questionable health effects of spray painting your body.
  • THE FUTURE: So, people want a safe, cheap, and simple solution?  What if you could buy a full-body suit in just the right shade of bronze?  Put it on, and that’s it!  When it gets dirty, wash it. already sells suits like this, but for some reason not in bronze, YET!  Anyway, until they do, you could just put one pair of pantyhose on your bottom half, and another pair over your head (arms in leg holes, Einstein).  Problem solved!

One response to “Only Logical Solution for Perfect Bronze Tan

  1. I see a job opportunity!


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